You see what you want to see when you have a sexy mindset

Sexy

There is something to rose-tinted glasses after all.

A group of psychologists at the University of Rochester and the Israeli-based Interdisciplinary Center (IDC) Herzliya discovered that we see potential romantic partners as a lot more appealing if we have what the scientists call “a sexy mindset.”

The researchers examined what could happen if a person’s sexual system is activated. Such a mindset, the group found, reduced a individual’s concerns about being refused, while simultaneously inducing a feeling of urgency to start a romantic connection.

The US-Israeli team noticed that people often have overly optimistic views when it comes to a possible partner and their own chances of landing a date. Their latest study , printed in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, sought to explain the biased perception. It is precisely this bias, the group reasoned, that may provide people with the necessary confidence to stress less about rejection and instead motivate them to take a leap of faith to pursue a desirable romantic relationship without hesitation.

“If people anticipate that a partner shares their attraction, it is that much easier to initiate contact, because the fear of rejection is lessened”–coauthor Harry Reis, a professor of psychology and the Dean’s Professor in Arts, Sciences & Engineering at Rochester

“People are more likely to desire potential partners and to project their desires onto them when sexually aroused,” says lead author Gurit Birnbaum, a social psychologist and associate professor of psychology at the IDC. “Our findings suggest that the sexual system prepares the ground for forming relationships by biasing interpersonal perceptions in a way that motivates human beings to connect. Clearly the sexual system does so by inspiring interest in potential partners, which, in turn, biases the perceptions of a potential partner’s interest in oneself.”

Evolutionary principles at play

The sexual behavioral system of humans ensures survival and reproduction of the species by stimulating sexual urges that motivate us to pursue partners. Success is dependent on targeting the ideal potential partners that aren’t only perceived as desirable but also as prone to reciprocate our advances. In past studies the researchers found that we frequently refrain from courting desirable possible partners because they fear rejection.

“Forming stable sexual relationships had, and continues to have, a great deal of evolutionary significance,” says study coauthor Harry Reis, a professor of psychology and the Dean’s Professor in Arts, Sciences & Engineering at Rochester.

“If people anticipate that a partner shares their attraction, it is that much easier to initiate contact, because the fear of rejection is lessened,” says Reis. “One of the main purposes of sexual attraction is to motivate people to initiate relationships with potentially valuable, and valued, partners.””If individuals expect a spouse shares their fascination, It’s That a lot easier to start contact, since the fear of rejection is diminished,” says Reis. “One of the main purposes of sexual attraction is to motivate people to initiate relationships with potentially valuable, and appreciated, partners.”

Assessing the effects of a hot mindset

Across three experiments the team found that sexual Activation helps individuals initiate relationships by inducing them to project their own needs onto prospective spouses. In other wordsyou see exactly what you want to see whether you’ve been sexually primed.

To test the effects of a sexy mindset, the group exposed participants Across three separate studies either to sexual (but not pornographic) stimuli or to neutral stimuli. Then, the participants struck a possible spouse and rated this spouse’s beauty and romantic interest in them. Participants’ interest from the partner was self-reported or evaluated by raters.

“Sexual feelings do much more than simply motivate us to seek out partners. It also leads us to project our feelings onto another individual,” says Reis. “One important finding of this study is the sexual feelings need not come in another individual; they can be aroused in any variety of ways that don’t have anything to do with another individual.”

“Sexual feelings do more than just motivate us to seek out partners. It also leads us to project our feelings onto the other person,” says Reis. “One important finding of the study is that the sexual feelings need not come from the other person; they can be aroused in any number of ways that have nothing to do with the other person.”

Yet, there’s also the obvious possible pitfall: when sexual feelings are present, people tend to assume that the other person shares their attraction, whether warranted or not, notes Reis. “Or you end up kissing a lot of frogs,” adds Birnbaum, “because a sexy mood makes you mistake them for princes.”

Birnbaum and Reis have spent the last few decades analyzing the dynamics of individual sexual appeal. In 2019 research, the duo found that when people feel greater certainty a prospective romantic partner reciprocates their interest, they will put more effort into seeing that person . Furthermore, individuals will rate the possible date as more sexually attractive than they would if they were certain about the potential date’s romantic intentions.

Related Journal Article: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0265407520952162

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