Tough compassion — here’s what it is and why you need to practice it

cheryl

cheryl

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Tough compassion — here’s what it is and why you need to practice it - TED

I was churning through social media feeds one morning when the phrase “tough compassion” made me pause mid-scroll.

On a podcast episode, psychologist, Greater Good Science Center founding director and TEDxBerkeley speaker Dacher Keltner described the idea, explaining how some contemplatives practice a form of kindness — but with a decided edge.

“In the deeper traditions of compassion, like a lot of the Buddhist traditions, they have an idea of tough compassion — to step in and, in a good way, guide the person to a different form of behavior or out,” said Keltner.

An uncompromising approach to compassion is one you can try when other attempts to engage with difficult people fail.


The concept stuck with me because it seemed so at odds with the way many people today are socialized to think about compassion. Among some, a compassion-centered lifestyle is one shared in breezy, pastel-colored Insta posts and involves attending idyllic retreats and practicing meditation. And giving someone else an honest piece of our minds isn’t it.
 
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