cheryl
Administrator
Staff member
The problem with love is deciding who’s doing the dishes - Psyche
When there is domestic trouble, we might think of love as part of the answer. But what if love is part of the problem? As we know from research in history and sociology, family life in Western societies in the past was dominated by a patriarchal and heteronormative understanding of marriage, in which love was largely on the sidelines. Only heterosexual partnerships were socially sanctioned, and marriages had more of a civic and religious foundation than a romantic one. Marriage was thought to unite a man and a woman’s wills, with the woman’s being largely subsumed into the man’s.
By contrast, our contemporary understandings of family life are dominated by love. For many people, falling in love determines whom we should connect with. Staying in love is seen as the glue that keeps us together, and the death of love is seen as grounds for divorce.
The centrality of love in domestic life has some wonderful aspects, reminding us of the importance of care and warmth in our daily interactions. But this centrality also has a distinctly dangerous and dark side.
When there is domestic trouble, we might think of love as part of the answer. But what if love is part of the problem? As we know from research in history and sociology, family life in Western societies in the past was dominated by a patriarchal and heteronormative understanding of marriage, in which love was largely on the sidelines. Only heterosexual partnerships were socially sanctioned, and marriages had more of a civic and religious foundation than a romantic one. Marriage was thought to unite a man and a woman’s wills, with the woman’s being largely subsumed into the man’s.
By contrast, our contemporary understandings of family life are dominated by love. For many people, falling in love determines whom we should connect with. Staying in love is seen as the glue that keeps us together, and the death of love is seen as grounds for divorce.
The centrality of love in domestic life has some wonderful aspects, reminding us of the importance of care and warmth in our daily interactions. But this centrality also has a distinctly dangerous and dark side.