"I Can't Predict My Kid's Behavior!" Yes You Can. Here's How

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"I Can't Predict My Kid's Behavior!" Yes You Can. Here's How - Psychology Today

Can't figure out what drives his behavior? Here's how to make sense of it all.

"It’s like living in a house with a monster in the closet," Ely says. He’s talking about his brother Alexander. "You have to tiptoe all the time, just in case you wake up the monster, and then the whole day is ruined." Their mother, Deborah, sighs. "It’s a good analogy. Problem is, you never know just what will wake up the monster. Some days, Alexander can be flexible. Other days, the tiniest thing triggers him. It’s the not knowing that’s the hardest part."

Some parents try to keep the peace, walking on eggshells to avoid waking up that monster. Whether a child is explosive—acting out, having temper tantrums or public meltdowns—or implosive—becoming withdrawn, moody, and shut-down—living with unpredictability is hard.

Our goal is to make the diagnosed child’s behavior much more predictable, so the entire family can function. The first step is to create a unified theory of why the child behaves this way, and how to respond. (Read more about how to create a unified parenting theory here.)